A Closet Philatelic...

Alrighty... so here's a little known fact about me -- I'm a closet philatelic and am completely and totally fascinated by postage stamps and postmarks. I especially love cancelled postage stamps -- which of course cleverly combines both of my heartfelt interests.

Just look at me... I'm all a quiver over these totally Awesome Poe stamps!!

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door-Only this, and nothing more."

.... excerpt from The Raven ....

Oooohhh.... I can only hope that tapping is my letter carrier at the door with my E.A.P. stamps in hand.
I'm as giddy as a school girl... and probably just as lame. But damn it all anyhow --

Stamps Rule You Fool.

Fruit Cravings...

Okay... So we eat a lot of fruit at my house. Hmmm, ya know, that might even be perceived as a vast understatement. We actually consume (what most folks would probably consider as) a ridiculously Huge quantity of fruit. Afterall, it takes up one whole counter in the kitchen and another entire shelf in the fridge. We don't eat much of what is considered junk food and our idea of snacking equals fruit. So in the end, I suppose it's a good thing.

I think the variety of fruit available to you must depend greatly on where you live. Since moving to the Eastern U.S. we've seen things we had never been exposed to before which is cool. And on the frustrating flip side we haven't been able to find some of the other things that we're used to. Below are two fruits we've discovered since we moved to Pennsylvania that (for whatever reason) we'd never encountered when we lived in the Western U.S. Who knows why... all I know is how thankful I am to have found them. So without further delay... here are two fruits we discovered just this year and urge you to seek them out -- where ever you may live. Ordering them online if you must...

They're Both That Good!! Seriously.

Cara Cara Naval Oranges

Cara Cara Oranges... they truly are The Bomb. They have a beautiful pinkish-orange center, are wonderfully sweet, seedless and less acidic than traditional naval oranges. Pure Bliss I'm tellin' ya. Citrus Sinensis 'Cara Cara' was discovered in 1976 as a mutation of a Washington naval orange in Valencia, Venezuela. They're only available for a short amount of time, since their peak season is considered December and January. So rush out now and scout for yours before it's too late!! Trust me... it's worth any extra effort it might take. They're an ultimate favorite at our house... we devour them a case at a time. Mmmm. Mmmm. Ammmmazing!

Honeycrisp Apples

Wow!! These things are just Awesome. In my (not so) humble opinion the Honeycrisp apple is The best apple you can get your hands on. This variety of apple has actually been around since the 1960's, however it's a tough one to propagate and grow with huge success. Thus making it a tough breed to produce in large quantities. It's peak season is September through late October... though sometimes if you're lucky you might find them as late as November - but don't count on it! These apples are simply divine, offering a pleasingly crisp sweet-tart bite. They're by far the most crisp apple I've ever had and are surprisingly juicy. They're also a sub-acid specimen - which is yet another plus in my book. So even though it's too late to get yourself hooked up right now... be on the look out next fall! And remember to buy plenty, keep them cold and thank me later ;) Just be prepared to pay for the pleasure. Since they're not available in abundant volumes the prices will reflect their rarity - you'll most likely pay between $2.50 - $4.00 a pound for these lovelies. But trust me, they're absolutely 100% worth the price.

The Hard Sell...

I've never been known as a shopaholic. It's not that I hate to go shopping... I can suck it up with the best of them. It's just that I don't take great joy in spending hours buying STUFF. The two worst are probably A) Grocery Shopping - supermarkets just don't bring out the best in folks. Something about purchasing food seems to put people in a harried rush, impatient mindset and worst of all amplifies their rudeness. The second and most painful shopping trauma is shopping for furniture. Now in the past we've not really had too difficult a time with this... It used to be you hit a couple of stores, found something you liked and just bought it.

Boy Howdy. Times have changed. It's probably been about 5 years since we made a major furniture purchase... we've either been lucky and previous purchases have held up great OR we shopped smart and the price we paid reflects quality construction that lasts. I'm not entirely sure which... But YeeGhads! We traversed Seven different stores last week and not only were the choices repugnant at best the sales people were a horrific experience in of themselves. It ranged from either no help whatsoever to smothering hovering stepping on your heels and slobbering all over you help. The latter being the most Disgusting and offensive. We found that several stores accost you the moment you cross their threshold... inundating you with all the upsales -- the extended warranties, the fabric protection, the financing, the insurance, the all encompassing service provision plan... yada, yada, yada. And what's worse? All this before you've even looked around not to mention selected a single stick of furniture.

I have a friend who buys most of her furniture through the Pottery Barn Catalog... which I always thought was terribly brave. After wasting more than 3 days at 7 stores being bombarded by pushy sales people I'm starting to clue into her Genius -- the girl is off the charts smart.

So now that I'm completely exhausted, mind numbingly frustrated and extremely creeped out - I've ordered myself a PB catalog and plan on making a trip over to one of the major warehouse stores like Costco for Sam's. Choices may be more limited... but then so is the drama. And in the end, I'm just not willing to expel anymore time or effort on the selection of a blinkin' sofa.

I mean Come On... I'm really not so terribly picky... as long as it's not red.

Gone, Gone, Gone...

Are my readers. I'm quite sure that since I've been MIA for nearly 3 months now, my faithful readership (which was probably pretty pathetically small to begin with) has dwindled all the way down to squat by now. What can I say... I've been sick. Really, really sick. Just puking and sleeping with no left over time for blogging - heaven forbid arts and crafts and kitschy krapola.

The skinny: Just about the time of my last posting I found out I was in the family way. As in Major Pregnant. And wouldn't you know it, within about 5 days of that news all hell broke loose when I had to (quite literally) move into the bathroom. So now that I'm finally 17 wks along and have managed to punch out almost an entire paragraph of mindless dribble without my gag reflex kicking in - I'm hoping the worst is over and I'm gearing up for some serious creative action.

So without further ado --- A Quiz!
Cuz afterall... 3 months of feeling chained to the porcelain throne for 20 hours a day makes the scenario provided in this quiz sound like a whole helluva lot more fun to me.

I could survive for 1 minute, 9 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

Out the Window...

Okay... so for about a month now I've simply been just dying to go to the Pile of Craft event in Baltimore MD.

There are so very many hip and happenin' artists participating! One of which is Cotton Monster... I've been coveting her stuff for ages now. I totally thought this would be a stellar way to pick up one up one of her utterly amazing creatures for my little NutMan. With the added bonus of having a totally kick ass, rock your world weekend in the D.C. area. What could be better?!

Yeah, sure... turns out, lots could be better.

Wouldn't you just know it... Darling P came home from work yesterday with news that my illustrious weekend plans were so completely out the window.

WHAT!!??? Screams I.

At this point there may have been some profanity used... but I'm pretty sure my cerebrospinal fluid (the goop around your brain) began to boil at this stage. Honestly, I really can't remember much after I regained my composure and was able to pull myself from up off the floor.

So not only do I NOT get to go do something I've been yearning and churning to do for the whole entire month -- Major bummer! I also get to stay home alone for a full week with my 2 year old in the pouring rain while Husband gets to go here:

To Yokohama, Japan... Where The P will be... without Me. (sigh)

I gotta tell ya, I really am excited as hell for him! The lucky dratmeister! I'm also absolutely and totally jealous. I would so love to go... if only H Man were a wee bit older. Of course it's a business trip, so it's not all fun and games for The P... but it should still prove to be a radical adventure for him :)

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't feeling a little bit of disappointment over my rockin' weekend getting squashed. So if you've got the weekend free and happen to be in the Baltimore area - Please go and check out this Ultra Hip Indie Art Fest!

Take loads of photos & then be kind enough to share them with me?

Pretty Please?

Wish Fulfillment... Dad's Day

My Mom always gives me a hard time about my Dad. I always take his side. I always defend him. I'm always there to steady his pedestal.

I simply Adore my Dad... what can I say. And although my Mom doesn't think I'm aware of any - I do know that he's got a few faults, but shoot, who the heck doesn't. No matter what - I still think he's pretty damn near perfection. It's delightfully easy to sing his praises...

So to keep things short -
I'll just give you the abridged version:
The Top 10 Reasons My Dad is Grand!


1) He's the Biggest Teaser on this planet.
2) He's kind and very sweet.
3) He's just like MacGyver... he can fix and build anything out of whatever's handy.
4) Being annoying is an art and a science for him.
5) He's a Swearintologist Master!
6) He's a total Softie, we're talkin' Mr. Fluff.
7) He's terribly funny - in a very subtle, sarcastic, get your goat kind of manner.
8) He'll watch any of Clint Eastwood's movies with me... even if we've both seen it 315 times.
9) He worships my Mom (for 39 years) even when she's naughty!
10) He cherishes being a Grandpop.

All the while I was growing up I used to notoriously say...
If I ever get married I wanna marry someone just like Dad.

And wouldn't you know it... 17 years ago when my Mom first met The P she pulled me aside in her kitchen and whispered "You've found him".
That's probably one of the sweetest and most unexpected things my Mom has ever said to me...
What an awesome feeling!

I can't believe I live such a charmed life. Father's Day is such a wonderful celebration. It's a time to reflect on how much my own father means to me, and to take pride in the love my son has for his own Papa. Having a wonderful Dad is incredible, being married to a wonderful Dad is inspiring!

So for My Two favorite Dads out there - I love ya!
Thanks for everything you do. Thank You for making life hold such meaning!

Birkenstocks Vs. Milano Blahnik

Do you play Bunco?

It's like a Yahtzee club for women... rather silly, sorta stupid and SO totally lame.

Talk about loads of fun! It gets you out of the house, gets your mind off the heavy stuff and let's be frank - it sure beats electroshock therapy.

Actually, on second thought ---
I think it IS electroshock therapy for me.

I always have a good time... even if the group I attend isn't exactly the Ethel to my Lucy. I'm not an official Regular either, I'm a Scab. Which sort of puts you on the outside looking in, but is full of perks - one being you never have to host an event.

The first few times I played I was pretty sure I had that whole - 'A skunk can't smell it's own stink' - thing going on. Either that, or I had a bad case of leprosy that my husband had neglected to mention.

It could also have something to do with the fact that I'm always the only woman there who is:

1) NOT wearing the entire Clinique make-up counter.
2) NOT dressed like I'm pretending to audition for a Sex and the City episode.
3) wearing socks!! (OMG.... you should witness the stares & the whispering)
4) NOT carrying a Coach Bag... er, Purse.
5) NOT wearing 3" stilettos.
6) thinking that Juicy Couture has to be a new flavor of Juicy Fruit.
7) NOT wearing a tiara (only a Slight exaggeration).

Oddly enough, every time I go to Bunco it reminds me of a bizarre Twilight Zone episode. Where the drunken women of "The Sopranos" and "The Stepford Wives" get together for a crazy night of dice and conversations about potty training, but aren't allowed to smoke. It's cool to experience a sub culture so completely opposite from my own.

I imagine it's a lot like having an out of body experience, totally surreal.

It also provides an enormous amount of side splitting laughter for me & darling husband. The stories I come home with are So totally worth the admission price of being the only Gilligan on a ship full of Gingers.

Swearintologists and Bloodlines...

WARNING: EXTREME WORDINESS

I embellish. I'm long winded.
Take a potty break before reading this blog entry.
---------------------------------------------------------------

Swearintology - I just completely made that up today. I like it. Yes, I like it very much and just might of pulled a muscle while trying to pat myself on the back. What does it mean? It's a philosophy, a way of life... actually, it's a lot like a weed. It can take hold of any conversation, doesn't require much attention to thrive and will usually out perform the beautifully articulated words around it.

Here's a fact you might not know. Cursing is in your blood you know. The Cursing Genome (CG). I think either you have it or you don't. It's pretty simple and not at all complicated. It's kind of like your heritage ese. If you've got the CG it surges through your bloodstream for eternity... it's there the day you're shot into this world and it's there the day you hang up your spurs. I know it's baaad... Swearing is bad... it's politically incorrect... it's very, very naughty... unless you're doing it in a court of law... which I think is where I'd be arrested for what some might call Profanity.

I can't help myself... it's sorta like watching too much Murder, She Wrote... OR drinking so much Diet Coke you end up with gut rot (with all the moaning and everything)... OR buying one of those Enormous "I want to gain 10 pounds this weekend" tubs of pre-made (couldn't be. in any way. good for you) cookie dough. All of them are, any way you slice it, Bad.

Whatever, says I.

So while most Moms are struggling with the laundry and the dishes... I'm struggling with potty mouth language, that quite frankly would make a sailor blush. I don't do it (much) out in public... but if I'm at home or chatting with a favorite friend - the things that fly out of my mouth could straighten your hair and curl your toes. I like colorful language. I like to express myself. Honestly, for me it's so much a part of who I am it's like breathing - something I'm only vaguely aware of. It's always done in fun and is never, ever mean spirited. I've been told on more than one occasion... "but you look so sweet and shy". Never judge a book by its cover. On that same note, you'll be a much happier person if you don't bother judging anyone at all.

Swearintology is fun, an art and much like poetry - requires a bit of skill. I hurl obscenities like circus performers hurl Ginsu knives, like college girls hurl at frat parties - effortlessly. There's only one teensy weensy snag. My son is Two. He's not really talking yet, but he's getting there. And with each day he gets a little closer I try to get a little closer to reeling it in. I don't want to be the Mom who gets the phone call... "Yes, Mrs. Nastypants. We have young Master Acid Tongue in the office (Again) for calling little Johnny Annoying a "Fart Licking Bastard" (Again)." Trust me I'm on it... but I've been a Swearintologist since age 4, so there's a bit of history there (my mother is shuddering - both then & now).

Some days are more of a challenge than others... take this morning - Puhlease! All three dogs got into something nasty in the yard... picture projectile vomiting, oozing diarrhea or worse - frothing and foaming at the mouth. Gross, just doesn't do this scene quite enough justice and a little (or was it a lot?) of profanity was in order. As in Mutha!... well, you get the idea.

I live on the edge... all be it, the edge of reason and I like to swear. I'm learning to pipe down and suppress it by at least a notch, or two. It's a bit like trying to control the Tourette's... but one thing I won't be doing is being bloody annoying and implementing lameass expletives like - frickin' or fudge. Those folks need a spanking... and not the "you've been naughty" kind you do in private either.

**Note: Thanks to Carolyn over at laughing alone in the dark for her wonderful verbose storytelling emblem... it's just too funny!**

Sex Jitters... SATC that Is

So are you a Sex and the City fan? It's pretty difficult to imagine you're not. I don't watch a whole lot of TV... so didn't even discover this show until it was probably into its 4th season or so. Thank heavens for DVDs... this series was an instant hit with me. I loved it, and happily managed to get my husband hooked. The Movie opens today and I'm more than a little nervous and filled with anticipation. I'd like to say 'much like a virginal bride on her wedding night' - But come on - who am I kidding. Although it's doubtful I'll get to see it while it's still in theaters (I don't have anyone to watch my little one), I worry and fret and stew that they'll ruin a great thing. It's like when your favorite book becomes a movie... disappointment usually ensues. So I'm hoping for an exception with this one - much like the X-Files: Fight the Future Movie, which I surprisingly Loved (& can't wait for I Want to Believe - the next installment due mid-summer) and Out of Africa - loved the book, loved the movie. I can only hope that after such a long period has lapsed since the show ended, that absence will make the memories fonder. I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed that the characters will still be as raunchy, fresh and gloriously flawed as ever. Here's hoping Big will make me swoon and I'll laugh so hard I'll pee a little. I already know way, way more about the screen version than I'd like to - so if you're lucky enough to see it -
don't you DARE post any spoilers here!!

Procrastination sides with Bill & Ted

I Should be working to get my studio organized right now. I've got a project list of about a hundred things I wanna do, need to finish, and am dying to start. Ugh, are you kidding me? Get serious, it's a mess in there... I can't work under these conditions.

Yep, this wonderful cartoon by Dave Walker does a splendid job of summing up how I feel about that disaster area. Nicely capturing how I deal with my denial - as if it won't look as bad after a little time away. Yeah, AS IF. Which reminds me - Have you noticed anything peculiar lately? Yes, Hello. The '80's are calling and they want their "Plaid Bermudas" back - I say we get out the water and reconstitute a lot of those 'radical' '80's sayings while we're dressing the part (let's just hope big hair won't be joining us - Like, Gag! me with a spoon, totally). Other forgotten favorites: 'Heinous'... 'Gnarly Dude'... 'Grodie to the Max'... Come on, work with me - try to use 'em in your daily conversations. Like, when you watched 'Bill & Ted', Like were you a willing participant or Like being held hostage by your wannabe Valley Girl friends? Like, Oh My Ghod - Digression is a catalyst for procrastination. If I don't get my rear in gear soon, NASA Scientists will be knocking at the door - looking to research and document the enormous Black Hole that's beginning to materialize in there. Har, har...material-ize... get it.

Okay, so I'm a dork - sue me.

Hybrids -- Fruits Not Cars

The whole idea of fruit hybrids are pretty fascinating to me. Perhaps that makes me a dork, but... well actually, I'm not sure I have an argument against that one. Anyhow, we eat a whole lot of fruit around here and much prefer fresh over canned. So whenever I see something interesting I'm game at least once. Our lastest samplings:

Apriums. These are completely new to me - somewhat baffling. I'd like to know who comes up with these freaks of nature. As you can probably guess they're a plum and apricot hybrid. Mostly of apricot heritage - it's like a .25 plum and .75 apricot - don't ask me how they figure it out. They have slightly fuzzy skin just like an apricot but their meat is like a plum. And they actually taste a little like both - talk about heavenly. They claim to have a higher sugar content than that of a plum or apricot alone - which is probably why they're so devilishly good. They're sort of freaky because they also smell like both apricots and plums. High tail it over Costco & grab some.

Grapples. This one's not a hybrid at all, it's a Poser. Which explains a lot actually. I found these really odd - they don't smell like Grapes, they smell like Grape Jolly Ranchers. Ewww, that's like fake Watermelon and what could be more gross. They say that there are no additional sugars added and that nothing but flavor is infused into the apple - get this - via "a relaxing bathing process". Yeah, that about sums up how these tasted too. Like they had been sitting in some really smelly bath water, and now they smelled weird and didn't have any flavor left whatsoever. Poor things didn't even taste like apples. It was sad, even our resident bunny wouldn't eat them. Not good, nope, not at all.

Getting Organized...or at Least Trying

I'm realizing as I sit here that my husband got here 9 months ago and that I've been here for 7. Seven whole months, I'm scratching my head - just what on earth have I been doing with my time?! In the past 17 years we've moved NINE times, I'm a pro at this...or at least so I thought. Your rankings must fall dramatically when you've got a two year old under foot, least ways for me. I'm pretty pokey at it normally - taking a good 2 to 3 months to get settled in. I've got about 85 maybe even 90 percent of household goods done. But my poor studio....less than 40. I'm moving from a Two room studio into one - save the quilting machine, which is in the room right next door - in the office. It's difficult...or maybe I just have too much stuff? Nah, it's not even possible is it? I think not. It's even worse to try to work on something and find that all the pieces aren't together...still haven't come across the knee lift for my sewing machine...or the motor and crank for my pasta machine (for polymer work). It's frustrating. Darling Husband did help put some shelves up, up, up...our ceilings are 10 feet tall, so now I'll require a ladder.

This side is filling up nicely...

and now I'll get going on these. Another challenge of this room - I have 2 amazing 7-8 foot windows to work around. Cuts down on how I can actually set up my work stations but the light is wonderful and something I'll happily factor in!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye...

Goodness sakes, lands alive - it would appear that several readers (aka: blogger peeps) were completely discombobulated by my little poll. Their choice "wasn't even ON the list"..."I wanna vote for more than one!"....yada, yada, yada peepos. So be it, there's now a new poll & if you choose "other" - do us a favor & post a comment to let everyone know just what "Your Other" IS. Afterall IT might well be a craft that someone else'll want to pursue. That'd be super swell...so have fun & vote...yes, even you lurkers out there. And for those folks who had already voted - well shucks, vote again :)

What's the plan Sam?

At the end of a long day, I find that there's often not much free time left over to work on the stuff I love to do. Which can be somewhat frustrating. I'm hoping that by creating a crafty blog it will help motivate me to Make more time for myself and help get a few more of my "Wanna Do" projects marked off the list. As you can imagine being home alone all day with a house full of dogs and a Two year old...well, it goes without saying that an additional outlet for creative stimulation might be quite refreshing. My love of arts and crafts are all over the board...including Polymer Clay, Crochet, Painting, Sewing, Baking, Embroidery, Quilting, Felting... (whew!) and that's just to name a few! You name it I've probably done it. I'd like this to be a hip place to hang out and share ideas, tutorials, projects, recipes, talk about cool books, shortcuts & tips, tricks, etcetera and possibly a few fun crafty things for the kiddos too...I hope you'll visit often and share your love of creating and the projects dear to you.